Helping the Helpless

1:30 am.
Guy wonders in, smell him before I see him.
Drunk
Or something. 
Slurred confused topic hopping.
He has a room, he wants a room, here to meet friends.
A mix of speech and gestures,
He's doing Depp doing HST doing Jagger doing that sign language chimp.
Sits in a chair, I should just call the PD.
No, they'll bust in all tough, talk to him, then kindly give him a ride home and water to sober up.
They never do that for me.
They truck me down to Detox if I swerve to avoid a caterpillar on my walk home.
Digressions.
Guy passes out.
Go smoke and wonder what to do.
Minutes later.
Kick, whistle, yell, shake.
"hmm, um, um"
Finally get him up, tell him that the cab he wanted me to call is here.
He looks confused, but knows enough not to question it.
I direct him back out the front door.
He gets into the cab, and within minutes is on his way.