Yes, much like finding the Ark of the Covenant packed amongst crates in Washington, DC I discovered this ancient tome (publish date 1985) which will allow me to unleash powers such as mind reading, hypnosis, and controlling; along with some sweet fighting moves and breathing exercises.
Is the world ready to be dominated by Allen Tesch?
If you ask me, it has been ready for too long.
But do not worry fellow bloggers, you have nothing to fear.
I will remember you all as I sit on my throne.
All Hail Allen Tesch! All Hail Allen Tesch!
ReplyDeleteI will follow you in your world domination.
ReplyDeleteI pledge allegiance to the land of Allen Teschia.
ReplyDeleteALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD. I mean, ALLENSTESCH!
ReplyDeleteOUR LORD SHALL BE PLEASED
ReplyDeletelolwut
ReplyDeleteYour throne? That's what my ex-husband called the toilet when he needed to sit for a while. Do you mean the same thing? Do you need to take a dump? Hope you aren't constipated.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lola
Haha that's an epic thrift store find... they have some crazy books. Good luck on that whole world domination thing!
ReplyDeleteI will follow you on your blog, but not to world domination led by Allen Tesch!
ReplyDeleteWhy you ask? Because I am formulating my own plan to take over the world!
How may I serve you my liege?
ReplyDeletePlease for the love of god post some of what is in there. I'm so curious.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding out where you live and I'm stealing that book for myself.
ReplyDeleteTHERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.
Nice. I believe that's how so many 80's movies start. If there is an old man, seemingly innocent, who is really interested in your story and reeks of being a plot dump, watch out. You are likely in one of those movies.
ReplyDeleteOMGWTF That shit does not just happen randomly. This is your destiny. Use the skills you learn wisely and remember that with great power comes kick ass guitar solos, so you should go back and see if there's an ancient tome on guitar mastery as well.
ReplyDelete