Sock Returns

Longtime readers might have noticed that I haven't mentioned Sock in quite some time. 

(For those of you unfamiliar with Sock, just click on the tag at the end of this story and read from the bottom up.)

The truth is, after she threatened me with paternity of her children, and her father's threats of murder, I had successfuly managed to avoid her and her psycho family. 

Until now. 

I woke up this afternoon to this picture slid underneath my door, with a cryptic note telling me to "Do the write thing" or some terrible things might happen to me. 

So I'm not sure what to do now, I like this place too much to move, but I know for a fact that these kids aren't mine.  Their mother is a whore, and really, just look at them, they look nothing like me. 

I guess I'll just drink on it. 

Hurried Post

Can't spend much time writing today. 

It all started when some law enforcement types came to my door this morning during my nap.
After briefly excusing me to tend to my smoking and exploding microwave, they explained to me that my good friend, Treev Wilson, was missing, and they were wondering if I'd seen him.
Treev is a good friend of mine who is a notorious bootlegger of everything from cigarettes to raw milk.  It isn't unusual for him to disappear for long periods, so I told them I hadn't seen him, and it really isn't a big deal.
They never explained why they wanted to see him.
I said it wasn't a big deal, but knowing Treev's enemies, which range from the Roving Band of Sodomites to the heads of the Pervert Underground to Larry the Leper, any one of them could have finally gotten their sick hands on him.

So I'd better go out now and try to find him.

So, long story short:
There's drama that surprisingly doesn't include Sock
My thumb drives and microwave are now trashed
I need to go try to find my friend.

Lazy Sick and Sock Post

Still feeling the Uberflu, though I think a lot of it might be the Hangover.
(Drink lots of fluids, right? hohoho)
And Sock is really getting on me with this paternity stuff, so I'll just leave you with yet another troll wincest picture.  I have others, but they aren't exactly safe for work, or PG.
So, long story short, another crappy post, but don't complain, it's free.

Picture of Sock

So a lot of people have been asking "Who is this Sock who is hassling you?  Is she at least hot?"  Well, to be honest, I can't give an objective answer to that since we have such a history together.

So I've decided to post a picture of her lying in bed while I had to get up for work.  I promised her I'd never share it, but considering what she's putting me through, screw it.

(Those curves, that mouth.  Tell me you wouldn't tap that.)

Sock Update and Lack of Post

Sorry, but nothing new today.  Socks been bothering me with calls at every hour of the day about this baby thing.  (If you're not familiar with Sock, you can check out previous posts about her)  So I've had to resort to ripping out all the phone lines in my house and changing the numbers on my house.

That should hold her for a while.

But that being said, I'm not posting from home, and I'm not near my notebooks.  Right now I'm sitting at a coffee shop, using their wireless.  But this won't last.  There's only so long you can hold off the manager's questioning, claiming to be reading through the drink menu trying to decide your order...

I Was Having A Perfectly Good Afternoon

Drinking beer and eating fried crumbs off my George Foreman grill when all the sudden Sock's father calls and starts yelling at me.  I couldn't understand most of what he said through the chew and sunflower seeds but from what I could gather sock went crying to him about what I'd done, she's pregnant, and he hopes I do the right thing, blah blah blah.
First off, what cum rag goes to her freaking dad about what she's been doing, and secondly, we were last together like two weeks ago, how could she claim to be pregnant so soon?
I have to admit I'm not familiar with the gestation period of the average sock, but what I do know is that there is a pile of stiffened dishrags, towels, and comforters that could pile half way from here to the moon, that could bring a paternity test against me if this is true.
I dunno, I'm just kinda scared because he's a double knit heavy wool hunting sock, dude probably could do some damage to me if he wanted.

Bad News Guys...

I think my sock called my girlfriend.

That stupid mouthy bitch I should tear all the elastic out of her leg hole.

I had an idea that something was wrong when we got done with our romance today.  I threw her in the corner like I always do, and she started asking all those same questions: "Why don't you wear me to see your friends?" and "Why don't you bleach me anymore?"
I told her "Damn, sock, I just spent Valentine's Day with you.  What is that?  Nothing?"
Then she just got all quiet, and started sniveling so I threw her in the hamper so she'd know who's boss.
But now I've been getting 2 am texts from my lady friend saying we have to talk.  I think Sock crawled out and went through my phone while I was sleeping.

This can't be good.

Next time I'm sticking that bitch in a drawer.