Thursday, June 6, 2013

Just Another Day, Sadly

Just another day, sadly.
Took too many days off by one.
Rain, so can't drive. (I'll get those wipers fixed eventually)
Probably shouldn't spend the money anyway.
Would walk, but so many parks and kids.
A single bearded man wondering alone, they make videos about that.
I could wait until dark, if I want to get stabbed.
Besides, the perpetual fatigue is setting back in.
I'll manage to get that looked at too, once I find a doctor.
And maybe he can find some social scientist,
to explain this utopia we live in.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Indian Strange of the New Jersey Manlet

The Indian Strange of the New Jersey Manlet.
Ninety pounds of hoop earrings and hair.
Has a theory of life involving knowing people and circles.
Twenty-nine years old, feels twenty-one.
Says too old to go on like this, running with strange men.
Broken hearted over someone.
It's all circles. And life. And wanting to be known.
When her friends pick her up she'll get some food.
Indian Strange of the New Jersey Manlet.
Waiting patiently on the front stairs.
To continue her circles and be known.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Scarlet Speckled Whale and the Balding Wop

The Scarlet Speckled Whale and the Balding Wop.
Wild sexual deviants of the North Plains. Distributors of personal pestilence.
Wild echoed moans of street pick up threesomes fill the dingy halls. As one drunken sop after another falls into their perverted trap.
Nice enough folks, really, as long as they get their way.
Just a loosely attached sexual Bonnie and Clyde, bidding their time until whatever prevailing authority punishes them for their crimes.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Something About Karma, I Think

I'm a super mad meat cleaver,
gonna attack your face.
And when I'm done with my dreadful job,
you'll never get a date.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Pea Coat Phantom

The Pea Coat Phantom
Scent of cigarettes and madness
Merchant of refuse. Opportunist of open restrooms. Boarder of elevator shafts.
Silent shadow stalker. Open air cat walker.
You have to catch him on camera, yet his presence then is hard to believe.
If you manage to catch him, he'll shoot you with defiance.
What are you doing in his world?
He has no time for reason, lets you know he'll leave on his own terms.
Argument keeps him warm in the snow.
The Pea Coat Phantom, he says he's getting better.
But you wonder how far here is from there.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Suddenly, meaning.

Got done with my second job early.
Not so much a second job as volunteer work.
A sentence.
A bondage.
So what was I to do with my extra 45 minutes?
The same ting I always do, just got done earlier.
They all say we are put here to do one thing.
Now I know how all the old timers feel.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Death's Dog

Saw the dog of Death again today. He's hardly what you'd think: pointy hears, clean coat and wagging tail.
That's how they get you.
I didn't see Death this time, he was around the corner. I could just see his pale hands reading from the book.
I shrugged like I always do and waited, finished my work.
A couple times I went back and waved at the dog and his dopey grin, I knew to never approach.
But again, they never came.
Maybe it was the haircut, maybe it was because I was feeling optimistic.
But I fooled them again.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Mankato Backpage Inspiration

Being a writer, I am used to writer's block. I am also used to finding inspiration in the simplest of things. It could be in a news story, a song, or even in the smile of a child. But never did I think that I would find inspiration when perusing Mankato's Backpage. But I did, when I found this.

 When I read this I got on my knees in both thanks and humility.  Thanks to the muses for showing me such a beautiful piece of art, and humility in the knowledge that never, no matter how far into depravity or brain abuse I ventured, I would never produces a line like the one I just read.

It is, as I had mentioned, simply and act of pure genius.  It starts off slowly, like any beautiful piece of music.  Perhaps I simply have not heard of cloud 9 inches.  Perhaps it is like the regular cloud nine.  Perhaps I am in in the wrong part of Backpage.

Then it teases you with foreshadowing of crazy with the simple "come satisfy your c. raving".  What is c. raving?  Is it a name?  Is my c actually raving?  What is my c?...Ah, my C is raving for some cloud nine 9 inches.  It's all about context, it has layers.  It's starting to come together. This broad may be writing the deepest this may be the deepest escort ad since James Joyce posted in Craigslist.

But then the song must reach its crescendo, and this does not disappoint with

"Hey also sexcychoco her for maximum satisfaction ready to fullfil your every need u want be disappointed her to please you" 

Let that sink in for a little bit.  Can you make heads or tails of that? Are you having the same difficulty maintaining equilibrium I had while reading that?  If you are, it is because, like me, you have never been face to face with such unrelenting and uncompromising insanity and hatred for the English language.

I had tried to diagram that sentence, but soon gave up in face of the enormity of the task.  But from what I can piece together, if you want maximu satisfaction read to fullfil your every need you must, MUST sexcychoco her.  Oh, and sexcychoco I will.  And I must want to be disappointed for her to please me.  Or I must want to disappoint her for her to please me.  I'm sure it's one of the two.  And who the hell is "her" anyway?  Who is writing this?  Maybe her pimp, maybe she's cleverly using the third person to throw the cops off her trail.  The title does make use of the number 2, so maybe it is two girls.  But c'mon, you can't just start into a character like that without introducing her to the reader at all.  Like I said, I am just too simple to under stand this Pollock of a sentence.

Or did I say it was a song?  Hell, this thing has gotten even me confused about what I'm saying now.  I can't even keep it all straight anymore, but I have been inspired.  I'm going to go snort some Drano crystals and see what I can come up with.

ROCK N LEARN RL-929 GRAMMAR VO (Google Affiliate Ad)    

Friday, March 15, 2013

Heil Swimming Mankato!

AllenTesch | Mankato Fiction Sometimes you have to take time from your own stories and let life tell its own. This photo courtesy the Mankato Area Public Schools Community Education & Recreation guide for Summer 2013.

Isn't that just the cutest little swimming Nazi?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Long Walk

He knelt down next to the burnt foot tracks and took a break. He would have mumbled encouragement to himself if the wind wouldn't have swept the words away and there was anyone left to hear them.
He drank his last few drops of water, even though it meant burning his hands by taking off his gloves. It was something he had to do if he was going to find the man with the tracks.
And then?
He wiped the drops from his beard and rubbed the thin mud on his lips.
For years(?) now he had accepted the fact that he was the last of them all. The youngest fossil to be found if anyone ever came across this burning speck. But then he found the tracks.
If there was one, that meant there could be more.
And then?
He scanned the empty landscape, then got up to find out.
Hope and desperation do strange things to a person.
If anything ever did stumble across this speck again, and knew this man's story; they couldn't help but wonder if he laughed or cried, once he learned the tracks he was following were his own.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Last Laugh

The Joke Man lay in the humming hospital room, dying and alone. 

“Alone and misunderstood,” he cursed to himself. “how quaint.”

Joke man had spent his entire life cursing and debasing the mundane, safe, unoriginal. He had created (sort of) a career for himself doing the completely original and unexpected.

Many (most) didn't appreciate what he did. But those that did, thought he was a genius. (especially himself) 

He tried to think of something completely new to say about the hum of the respiratory machine, the beep of the monitors, the body of his nurse, the quality of the food. 

Nothing came to mind. 

Soon the cliched cold crept through his typical ravaged body and the mundane dark came over his eyes. 

In front of himself he saw a smiling clown. A typical, easy scare, teenager jump scene clown.

Deep down he knew he had to laugh.