Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Proving Yourself

Wedding weekend.
And as and adult single, you start preparing yourself for The Question.
You practice your smile and shrug.
At best, they think you are some sort of puppy with a disease.
"There must be something we don't see." They say, and try to diagnose your problem.
At worst, they question your ability or desire for commitment and responsibility. 
Or maybe you're just gay.
But this time I have a plan.
At the appointed time I will dash out and grab that tossed bouquet.
Then I'll fuck every unattached girl from the dance. 
That should take care of 2 out of 3.


  1. BWAHAHAHA! This was hilarious. The final line clinched it for me.

    I was actually analyzing which action applied to which problem of the 3. How do you come up with this stuff?!

  2. Sounds like a pretty solid plan to me!

  3. This is what I plan to do at my best friends wedding if I'm still single.

  4. I swear by the plan and the awkward questions......

  5. This is great! Fucking random girls is always best!

  6. Yea, i hate when people put pressure on you to find someone.

    Annoys the shit outta me.

  7. That's nice. Do it, then come back with results. If you're not in prison or anything, anyway.

    Me? I tell them all honestly, I says to them,I says: "Love life? I'm happy with my one night stands, I don't want to have to pay someone for their happiness yet. What the hell is wrong with you? That's like having another debt, geeze man!"

    Somehow, they usually laugh at this. It's pretty honest though.

  8. Wow! I'm impressed, and it takes a lot to impress me.


  9. So, you are spending holidays with unattached strangers, sounds "exciting" :)

  10. Masterful plan! I hope it works out for you!

  11. i was always the worst at getting a girl to look at me, then i stoped caring and it just happened.
    facebook timeline

  12. That'll be a wedding to remember for sure.