Monday, February 6, 2012

Assault Knives: America's Hidden Scourge


Recently an 18 year old Oklahoma woman made the news for shooting an intruder while on the phone with a police dispatcher.  The woman was home alone with her baby when a 24 year old man armed with a 12 inch knife attempted to break into her home with an accomplice.
            This story has risen a number of questions about American freedoms, the most controversial of which is always: How long will America continue to ignore its problem with assault knives?
            Yes, it is stated in the 2nd Amendment that the people have a right to “bear arms”, but that was also written in a very different time in history.  In those days, the average American may have needed large knives to protect themselves from bears, Englishmen, and bandits.  But today, the bear has been relegated to the zoo, the most aggressive Englishman plays a doctor on your TV, and the police are there to protect us around the clock.  
            Realistically, for what purpose does the average person need to use a 12 inch knife?  What could possibly be so large that you need an entire foot to cut through it?  The largest head of organically grown lettuce can easily be bisected using two cuts of a 4 inch knife.
            Sure, a large knife may have been needed for hunting, or in colonial kitchens for the purpose of cutting breads, cheeses, and meats.  But again, the times have surpassed the knife with all foods coming in the form of can, slice, box, or shredded. 
            When we look at the facts, there can be only one purpose for such weapons, but the Big Knife lobby continues to keep the American people in danger by pulling the wool over their eyes and lining the pockets of legislators.  Big Knife has been successful in blocking any legislation that would even slow the selling of assault knives.
            Knowing it was futile, I called my local sheriff and asked him the number of knives sold in our county.  He simply nervously laughed and hung up the phone.  It's not that he was hiding anything, he had no need to.  
            The fact is that are no age checks, background checks, or even accounting of knife sales in this country.  Any man or woman of any mental mind frame can simply walk into a local Wal-Mart, pick up a package of assault knives (Ooh! 2 for 1!) and walk to the register.  Oh yeah, while while they are there, why not pick up a couple sharpeners?  Never can tell how dull a knife will get after a full day of stabbin', you know. 
            How many crimes have been perpetrated due to the assailant holding “courage with a handle”?  Would this wayward young man have even attempted this home invasion if he had, say, a perfectly safe and reasonable electric knife?  Sadly, we may never know.  The bloody hands of the Big Knife lobby is covering the ears and eyes of those who swore to protect us.

15 comments:

  1. big knife and big tobacco have a secret backdoor deal in Congress I just know it.

    also, I remember reading about this real story in the news awhile back and man, that was crazy the lady asked permission from the 911 dispatcher to blow the dude away.

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  2. I'll have you know I'm perfectly satisfied with my man-size long sword.

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  3. Now wait a second, I was sure I'd read something like this on an article you put up..

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  4. best and simple way to resolve the issue of knives and the pricks that use them as weapons on people is to issue a massive advertising campain that clearly states "if you carry a knive - you are a cunt and a coward".

    never understood why anyone would want to carry a knife or a gun for that matter other than if they suffered from penile disfunction of some kind.

    over here in the uk, its only idiot kids with no parents and no brains who carry guns and knives. why on earth would you want a law to give you permission - let them all stab each other to bits in a big room and the last one left alive can be fed to the dogs.

    its the british way. the best way!!!

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  5. Maybe these people are just compensating.

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  6. If you ask me, after the Indy movie scene where in middleeast a guy spends so much time threating Indy with his huge sword and Indy pulls the handy gun and shoots the guy - the knife thing should be retired and everyone should go for gun.

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  7. Assault knives? Like, ballistic knives or just really big Croc Dundee blades?

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  8. I don't leave the house unless I am packing at least 3 assault knives.

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  10. governments need to bring their regulations up to moderation. It's far too easy for anyone to buy this kind of stuff where I live.

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  11. you make a very good point but i feel like it is a very complex problem. I would be upset if the government just made them illegal, because that would not solve it. Criminals could still get these weapons and an innocent person like me would be left defenseless

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  12. Maybe you could need to cut incredibly large pieces of meat with a twelve-inch knife. Like, deer, or probably humans.

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  13. People are so concerned about guns that knives go un-noticed. But what does the government care so long as their wallets grow fatter?

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