The car is leaking oil. Not really
leaking but more dripping. Slobbering. Drooling. But the good news
is that it's only when it runs. I think. It's hard to diagnose
these things on your own.
I just can't bring myself to tell
anyone. For a guy, a car problem you have no idea how to fix can be
as bad as a medical one.
My big leaking anus, sitting in the
driveway, dribbling that black fluid down my leg.
I keep giving it vitamins (a quart a
week) and finally got some cheap stop leak for gaskets in there. So
that should work (if that's what the problem is) in 200 miles or 3
days.
(200 miles? Do they have any idea how
long it takes me to put 200 miles on that thing? I pray for 3 days)
You can tell my path to and from work
by the black dot trail.
The pile of oil soaked lawn clippings
where I park is approaching an environmental disaster. (The rains do
nothing to kill it. Its rainbow blood flows down the driveway, yet
the body remains)
My hope is to have it fix itself
before my landlord notices (or gets fed up).
I should just take the car in, and
pray for the cheap miracle fix (something that only happens in
movies). But forget it, I've got trips (family trips, friend trips)
planned for next month.
And I know the mechanic doesn't make
payment plans.
So I'll go in when I get back and
really am broke. So I can legitimately claim poverty when the
diagnosis comes.
And then?
I might end up still buying toilet
paper for my leaking anus.
But at least I'll know what the
problem is.
