I think my sock called my girlfriend.
That stupid mouthy bitch I should tear all the elastic out of her leg hole.
I had an idea that something was wrong when we got done with our romance today. I threw her in the corner like I always do, and she started asking all those same questions: "Why don't you wear me to see your friends?" and "Why don't you bleach me anymore?"
I told her "Damn, sock, I just spent Valentine's Day with you. What is that? Nothing?"
Then she just got all quiet, and started sniveling so I threw her in the hamper so she'd know who's boss.
But now I've been getting 2 am texts from my lady friend saying we have to talk. I think Sock crawled out and went through my phone while I was sleeping.
This can't be good.
Next time I'm sticking that bitch in a drawer.