Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Bad News Guys...

I think my sock called my girlfriend.

That stupid mouthy bitch I should tear all the elastic out of her leg hole.

I had an idea that something was wrong when we got done with our romance today.  I threw her in the corner like I always do, and she started asking all those same questions: "Why don't you wear me to see your friends?" and "Why don't you bleach me anymore?"
I told her "Damn, sock, I just spent Valentine's Day with you.  What is that?  Nothing?"
Then she just got all quiet, and started sniveling so I threw her in the hamper so she'd know who's boss.
But now I've been getting 2 am texts from my lady friend saying we have to talk.  I think Sock crawled out and went through my phone while I was sleeping.

This can't be good.

Next time I'm sticking that bitch in a drawer.
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16 comments:

  1. ArexFebruary 15, 2011 at 2:15 AM

    sock meaning...love sock?! grossss

    haha this made me laugh though

    ReplyDelete
  2. SidewayzFebruary 15, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    Time to trade in mabye get a pair of twins for some threesome action.

    Reminds me i was listening to someone tell a story over voicecoms the other day about using a nylon stocking for a condom becuase he couldnt find anything else.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Igneel21February 15, 2011 at 3:10 AM

    this is why i keep my sock in the drawer, those filty cotton bastards

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bring_NapkinsFebruary 15, 2011 at 4:11 AM

    Wiseguy, eh? Tell that cantankerous piece of cloth to suck your sock, and then put it in the dryer..for one whole week, on extra dry. That'll show its ass.

    ReplyDelete
  5. D.February 15, 2011 at 5:59 AM

    wow take it easy man

    ReplyDelete
  6. LiveTheBossFebruary 15, 2011 at 7:02 AM

    Clever. But it might have been over with your girlfriend when you spent Valentine's Day with a sock instead of your girlfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. NoMoreTroubleFebruary 15, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Socks... never trust them. They are sneaky and vicious.

    ReplyDelete
  8. gcphillips1February 15, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    Burn the whore, get that cotton!

    ReplyDelete
  9. metalpark_73189February 15, 2011 at 12:04 PM

    lmfaooo nice man

    ReplyDelete
  10. after3February 15, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    haha1 she thinks you have feeling for her matching sock.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jeff C.February 15, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    Get a new sock and show her who's boss.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AuditorAwakeningFebruary 15, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    I love this blog! Greatest way to start my day haha.

    ReplyDelete
  13. CrazyJuanFebruary 16, 2011 at 1:10 AM

    Oh gross, haha.. gross. :/

    ReplyDelete
  14. CiriisFebruary 16, 2011 at 3:22 AM

    :-/
    WAY too much info man... never ceases to amaze me what people post online sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  15. marcoandredinisFebruary 16, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Too bad

    ReplyDelete
  16. ComicReliefFebruary 16, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    Haha I lol'd. Nice sense of humor you got going on there

    ReplyDelete

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