I Was Having A Perfectly Good Afternoon

Drinking beer and eating fried crumbs off my George Foreman grill when all the sudden Sock's father calls and starts yelling at me.  I couldn't understand most of what he said through the chew and sunflower seeds but from what I could gather sock went crying to him about what I'd done, she's pregnant, and he hopes I do the right thing, blah blah blah.
First off, what cum rag goes to her freaking dad about what she's been doing, and secondly, we were last together like two weeks ago, how could she claim to be pregnant so soon?
I have to admit I'm not familiar with the gestation period of the average sock, but what I do know is that there is a pile of stiffened dishrags, towels, and comforters that could pile half way from here to the moon, that could bring a paternity test against me if this is true.
I dunno, I'm just kinda scared because he's a double knit heavy wool hunting sock, dude probably could do some damage to me if he wanted.