Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Master of the Universe

Strip Club Stumble Drunk.
Professional type, dressed casual.
Khakis, sweater, loafers.
Master of his domain on a stroll.
Bangs on the bell, our fates are sealed.
Rooms are 89.
Too much.
79.
Too much.
Now 10 dollars is worth debate.
2 drinks, half a lap dance.
But I can't/won't provide what they can.
Says 50, he can get it online.
I invite him to try.
For 30 minutes he plays on his phone.
He is the Master for a reason.
Finally comes back, "what can you do for me?"
77
Fine.
He takes his keys and finds the elevators.
The Master wins again.
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19 comments:

  1. after3November 30, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    that dude's my hero. a3

    ReplyDelete
  2. AdamNovember 30, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    ditto what after said

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  3. FangNovember 30, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    So he got a 89 room for just 77 bucks? SWEET BARGAINING THERE

    ReplyDelete
  4. MRanthropeNovember 30, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    three cheers for the master bargainer!

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  5. MelanieNovember 30, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    OMG...where did you meet my neighbor??

    ReplyDelete
  6. Janie JunebugNovember 30, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    Autobiographical?

    Love,
    Lola

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sub Radar (Mike)November 30, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Bargaining is an art.

    ReplyDelete
  8. aamedorNovember 30, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    as a former cashier I hate that guy

    ReplyDelete
  9. MarkNovember 30, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    I'm not even really the master of my own universe, let alone yours. Sadly.

    ReplyDelete
  10. D4November 30, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    Oh, that's a master indeed.

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  11. UnknownNovember 30, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    Haggling is dead in this country, so says Costanza.

    ReplyDelete
  12. mamtcNovember 30, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    If anyone could bargain this well with a stripper/escort they definitely can sell ice to eskimo or used lipstick on ebay :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Angry LurkerDecember 1, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    Takes no shit, good one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. A Beer for the ShowerDecember 1, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    I can appreciate haggling, but I hate when people haggle at the dumbest places. Like the inept Asian woman in the supermarket last week who was haggling with the cashier. Try explaining to a thrifty Asian woman that you don't control the prices. Hint: it doesn't work.

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  15. CrisalysDecember 1, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    I need those powers when I go to the flea market.

    ReplyDelete
  16. BerserculesDecember 1, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    Very nice! Well writen and all! It flows very well! I like it!

    ReplyDelete
  17. PeteDecember 1, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    i once haggled with a stripper for a dance in exchange for a boots gift voucher. she took up the offer. in the end she wasn't worth it. i felt cheap and she got some lipstick and bottle of pepsi.

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  18. DWeiDecember 3, 2011 at 12:01 AM

    This isn't convincing me to get one of these girls any time soon. :P

    ReplyDelete
  19. ipenkaDecember 6, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    Sometimes, the internet is not the cheapest place. Hope the complimentary breakfast didn't get cut out...

    ReplyDelete

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