Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Moving On (A Tale of Love)

I present to you the interesting case of Benjamin Nottingham, who hired a medium to contact his beloved wife of thirteen years and mother of his three children only to learn she had become the biggest whore of the Great Beyond. 

It marriage and bodies ceased to exist in the hereafter, apparently neither did STDs.  Poor dead Mary used this newfound moral and physical freedom to hump and suck her way across the Astral Plane.

After the revelation, Benjamin decided it was time to follow his friends advice and move on.  He removed all pictures of Mary from the house and refuses to talk about her with the children. 

"I just tell them she's happy," he glumly replied "It's not technically lying...stupid whore."

"He spends way too much time reading the obituaries now,"  a friend said "It's creepy.  Every time a relatively young guy dies he sneers 'Have fun with that one, bitch'  I mean, c'mon, what is that?"

Benjamin has even offered to donate his own kidney to his long time friend Mike Sutton.  "Mike's always had a little crush on Mary,"  Benjamin explains.  "You think I'm gonna let that drunk get his hands on her?"

20 comments:

  1. :D so funny, hope this is fake, or Banjamin is having a hell of a life.

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  2. great post! keep up the good work

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  3. Haha, reminds me of something that would be in a humorous version of the book Sum: Tales of the Afterlives

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  4. Lmao that's the best thing I've read today!

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  5. I almost feel bad for finding this amusing.

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  6. haha paid off well! there certainly wont be any virgin births in heaven by the looks of it :P

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  7. lol hes gonna do a nice thing for the wrong reason

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  8. Odd story, thanks for posting.

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  9. Oh lord, what would happen is he himself died~

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  10. Hahah, nice story. Thanks for this

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  11. I like your style. interesting read, definitely following!

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  12. All the sex you want in hell? Count me in :D

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